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August. 28. 2014. 05:07 pm 1 note

list of things i need my mom to teach me to make before she dies (subject to modification)

spaghetti sauce (she’s actually taught me this like four times and i cant retain it for some reason.)

chicken fried steak

coleslaw

potato salad

home fries

her weird mushroom soup chicken dish thing

how exactly does she make her magical roast?

August. 28. 2014. 04:40 pm 498 notes

ofgeography:

peaceontheplanet replied to your post “hey all! so i hit a frankly stupid follower benchmark this week, and…”

Can you tell me another story? I’m bored out of my mind working for insurance and could use an lol. Hope you’re having an otherwise good day with your stupid follower count :)

sure, peaceontheplanet. i mean i can’t promise it’s gonna be as funny as the internet apparently found the porn thing but like, HERE’S A STORY ABOUT THE TIME I GOT MUGGED AT KNIFEPOINT (BUT BY A GENTLEMAN).

so when i was studying in argentina, it was like a thursday, and they were having what’s called a “feria” which is kind a holiday?? in argentina sometimes they decide to CANCEL EVERYTHING, ostensibly to celebrate things like books and students but i suspect really so that nobody has to go to work.

  • argentina gets me.

ANYWAY, i decided that day to go the gym! this was new and different for me, a person who considers “intense chewing” to be exercise. 

image

BIKINI BOD: ON TRACK.

so i went to the gym. it went the way that trips to the gym usually do for 5’8” girls with severe pigeon toes and a total lack of all motivation.

  • badly.

as i’m walking home, past the college of dentistry, i was fussing with a lighter that i had in my pocket because i was also, at that time, dealing with my fear of intimacy by smoking. so this guy comes up to me and is like, “hey, can i borrow a light?”

here’s a list of things i should have said:

  • "sorry, no."
  • "ahhhhhh you know what, i would, but i’m super busy right now??? i actually have a dentist’s appointment, as evidenced by this College of Dentistry that i’m standing outside??"
  • "NO HABLO ESPAÑOL."
  • "don’t you know that smoking gives you cancer? let’s commit to quitting, right now, to each other. bring it in. go team. together we can."

here’s what i did say:

  • "claro que sí, amigo."

he’s trying to light his cigarette, and his hands are shaking a little? so he can’t. and i’m like, dude, calm down, it’s okay. what is this, your first cigarette or something? lol.

after a few seconds, he kind of goes, “fuck it,” and drops the lighter into his pocket. and i’m like, “excuse me??? that’s my lighter?? also you didn’t even manage to light your cigarette???”  but before i can vocalize these protests, he gets rEALLY close to me and pulls out a knife. then he goes, “you have three seconds.”

what i should have said:

  • "okay. you can have whatever you want."
  • "here’s my wallet."
  • "wow, what a very sharp-looking knife, in what way can i avoid being stabbed with it today??"

what i actually said:

  • "haha, uhhhhh, until what?"

UNTIL WHAT. “UNTIL WHAT, MR. SIR WITH THE KNIFE? LIKE, WHAT’S ON THE MENU HERE????”

image

BUT HE DIDN’T SAY DEATH!!! it turns out that the gentleman attempting to rob me was like, maybe a rookie? it’s possible that he had never robbed anybody at knife-point, before. this as an experience that we were going through together for the first time.

because what he said was: “….i have a knife.

i said, “yes. i can see that. it’s very nice.”

  • IN MY DEFENSE: IF YOU ARE GOING TO ROB SOMEONE, THE ONUS IS ON YOU TO GIVE CLEAR DIRECTIONS.
  • "i have a knife"??? come on, buddy. be better prepared. come with a to-do list. practice in a mirror.
  • "then i’m going to pull out the knife and say: give me _____."
  • clear, concise, quick. that should be your motto, buddy. it is not MY JOB, as the ROBBEE, to read your goddamn mind. I AM NOT DRIVING THIS SHIP. IF YOU ALSO AREN’T DRIVING IT, WE ARE IN TITANIC-LEVEL TROUBLE.

at this point, clearly realizing that he had gotten in tOO DEEP with this dumbass tourist who didn’t even know how to get robbed properly, he blurted out, “uhhhhh, do you have a phone?”

i did have a phone! i had a broken claro go-phone that i had purchased upon entering the country which had 2 argentine pesos worth of text messages left in it and a inbox message from a boy name juan that said, “you like me a LOT.”

  • i had responded, “actually, i just like you the normal amount.”
  • i felt bad about that when i realized that he was trying to say, “i like YOU a lot,” but feelings verbs in spanish are mostly reflexive.
  • SORRY JUAN.

i handed the man with the knife my phone. he looked at it. looked back up at me. “r u srs?” his face seemed to say. “this is what you’re giving me right now? a janky ass claro go-phone that is CLEARLY MISSING THE NUMBER 7 KEY????”

image

look, the shoddy workmanship is a source of frustration to you and me BOTH, okay. we’re BOTH victims here.

but the beautiful thing about this story is that HE TOOK IT! he looked at me, looked down at his knife, sighed, and put the phone in his pocket. THEN HE REACHED BACK INTO HIS POCKET AND RETURNED MY LIGHTER TO ME.

we looked at each other.

  • here’s the thing that no one tells you about daylight robbery: there’s like. an afterbeat.
  • there is a moment in between “robbery-in-progress” and “going home to your homestay and explaining that you can’t answer phone calls anymore” where you and your robber have to look at one another and figure out HOW TO WALK AWAY.
  • listen, friends: in robberies, as everywhere, goodbyes are never easy.

"thank you," he said.

"you’re welcome," i answered.

he hesitated. “have a good day,” he said.

"………….okay," i answered. "you too. enjoy the phone."

  • ENJOY THE PHONE?????
  • IT WAS BROKEN. IT WAS CLEARLY BROKEN. WE BOTH KNEW THAT NOTHING BUT HEARTACHE WAS GOING TO COME FROM THAT PHONE.

i think about this a lot, and i wonder if he ever thinks about me. i wonder if he ever thinks, “that goddamn asshole knew i was going to have to press the 7 key four hundred times before it registered anything.” 

  • i’m sorry, man with the knife. i panicked. in the heat of the moment, we all say things we don’t mean.
via professorspork
August. 28. 2014. 04:28 pm 2 notes

Donald Glover is a racist guy? I had no idea o.O via Anonymous

i havent listened to his new album yet (i have it im just lazy about burning cds) but now that ive been reminded i can remember several of his older songs that have anti-asian lyrics. i can not specifically recall anything he said that was abilist in his music, but im not somewhere where i can listen to it right now.

i dont follow him on social networking, and i havent seen any of his interviews other than the one about being turned down for spiderman, so idk if he’s actually been confronted about his shitty behavior or not, and if he has i have no clue how he responded so…op would probs be a better person to ask about anything specific.

i just got super excited miles being an actual thing that is actually happening that i didn’t really even think about ways donald isn’t great.

no one is perfect of course, but if we don’t try to fix our problems then we’re just assholes. hopefully donald has (or will have) someone in his life that will confront him about his shitty behavior.

August. 28. 2014. 04:07 pm 65,638 notes

wilwheaton:

bearhatalice:

aspiringpolymath:

phoenix-ace:

girl-non-grata:

Please note: “everyone who works retail, admin, or labor” is pretty much everyone. I can’t remember the last time I worked somewhere without “security” cameras that monitored employees.

I’m having a good laugh right now because our associates just got collectively reprimanded for leaning on the counters during 8 hour shifts on their feet, because it isn’t “professional” looking.  So apparently they can put up with a camera over their shoulder to make sure they do their jobs correctly, but a cop with a gun cant?  

Do cops want CCTV cams removed from businesses and streets? If they don’t want to monitored on their jobs, why should everyone be monitored at theirs (and in their LIVES)? Oh, it makes cops’ job easier to have a video record of crimes and infractions? Huh.

HUH.

I work in an office and not retail, but I also know that every website I visit, and instant message or email I send is monitored and stored by my employer.

Also, surveillance cameras in public areas are nearly everywhere in America, watching just about everything completely innocent people are doing.

Police should be held to a higher standard than the public they are sworn to protect, and the data shows that cops equipped with cameras are simply better cops.

via professorspork
August. 28. 2014. 03:59 pm 9,223 notes

hi, i'm sorry if this has been asked but in your powerpoint you said that the tumblr sj community is guilty of antisemitism. what kind of things has it done? also, i love your blog! via Anonymous

fereldanfrostbacks:

beyondthetaffrail:

returnofthejudai:

debigotizer:

I’ll take this one since I’m the blog’s resident Jew.  Oy vey, where do I start…

  • SJ community loves to police Jewish identity and silence actual Jews when they talk about their own identities.  This usually happens in context of either “Are Jews White?” or “Jewishness is just a religion” conversations.  In reality, Jews are an ethnoreligious group that ethnically originated in the middle east, and while some ethnic Jews have light skin, it’s actually due to centuries of forced assimilation in European and Slavic countries through rape, which is a big reason why Jewishness is matrilineal.  Furthermore, there exist Jews who do not look white at all.  There are black, brown, and asian Jews who are all ethnically Jewish, and these conversations erase them.
  • "Jewish privilege".  Fact: It’s not a thing.  It’s actually a very common anti-semitic trope that says that Jews run everything so they are not oppressed.  Jews are oppressed, and face anti-semitic violence.
  • "Anti-semitism is not just about Jews, there are other semitic people." While yea, there are other semitic people, the term "anti-semitism" was created by Germans in the 19th century to refer specifically to the hatred of Jews because it sounded more scientific.
  • Blaming anti-semitic violence in Europe on the actions of Israel.  I see this literally every single day on this site, and it’s very upsetting.  Jews that live in the diaspora are not responsible for Israel’s actions, and especially should not be suffering at the hands of white people in Europe under the guise of anti-zionism.  
  • Finally, and this is a big pet peeve of mine.  The only people I ever see reblogging posts about anti-semitism are other Jews.  Even a lot of my non-Jewish followers will reblog posts about racism, sexism, homophobia, etc. but ignore posts about anti-semitism, and that as a Jew makes me feel unsafe. 

That’s enough for now.  If you’re interested in learning more about Jewish identity and anti-semitism, you are welcome to check out my personal blog: yochevedke.  I discuss that stuff a lot.  

-Yeva

Another Jew reblogging about anti-semitism. I’ve seen some increase in concern about this from goyim, but it’s been slow going. Hopefully we’ll pick up a big head of steam soon.

"The only people I ever see reblogging posts about anti-semitism are other Jews. Even a lot of my non-Jewish followers will reblog posts about racism, sexism, homophobia, etc. but ignore posts about anti-semitism, and that as a Jew makes me feel unsafe."

the amount with which this point in particular resonates with me is unreal

Guys, please pay attention to this. Antisemitism is very present in the modern world, and a lot of it comes from the far left.

via professorspork
August. 28. 2014. 03:53 pm 77 notes

theamazingindi:

i’m deadly serious when i say if your celebration of donald glover being cast of miles morales completely ignores his racist, ableist, ignorant shit, your activism and social justice is built on nothing but making yourself look good. no one loves donald glover more than people who want excuses to make rape jokes and hates asians. and if you’re the kind of person who these things are apparently important to you’re not going to be pretending it didn’t happen or just straight up ignore it. it’d be fine if people were discussing it! but they’re not. no one loves donald glover more than white people.

damnit donald

via thebreakfastbaron
August. 28. 2014. 03:50 pm 15,089 notes
I think one thing you can do to help your friends who are depressed is to reach out to them not in the spirit of helping, but in the spirit of liking them and wanting their company. “I’m here to help if you ever need me” is good to know, but hard to act on, especially when you’re in a dark place. Specific, ongoing, pleasure-based invitations are much easier to absorb. “I’m here. Let’s go to the movies. Or stay in and order takeout and watch some dumb TV.” “I’m having a party, it would be really great if you could come for a little while.” Ask them for help with things you know they are good at and like doing, so there is reciprocity and a way for them to contribute. “Will you come over Sunday and help me clear my closet of unfashionable and unflattering items? I trust your eye.” “Will you read this story I wrote and help me fix the dialogue?” “Want to make dinner together? You chop, I’ll assemble.” “I am going glasses shopping and I need another set of eyes.” Remind yourself why you like this person, and in the process, remind them that they are likable and worth your time and interest.

Talk to the parts of the person that aren’t being eaten by the depression. Make it as easy as possible to make and keep plans, if you have the emotional resources to be the initiator and to meet your friends a little more than halfway. If the person turns down a bunch of invitations in a row because (presumably) they don’t have the energy to be social, respect their autonomy by giving it a month or two and then try again. Keep the invitations simple; “Any chance we could have breakfast Saturday?” > “ARE YOU AVOIDING ME BECAUSE YOU’RE DEPRESSED OR BECAUSE YOU HATE ME I AM ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOU.” “I miss you and I want to see you” > “I’m worried about you.” A depressed person is going to have a shame spiral about how their shame is making them avoid you and how that’s giving them more shame, which is making them avoid you no matter what you do. No need for you to call attention to it. Just keep asking. “I want to see you” “Let’s do this thing.” “If you are feeling low, I understand, and I don’t want to impose on you, but I miss your face. Please come have coffee with me.” “Apology accepted. ApologIES accepted. So. Gelato and Outlander?”

#613: How do I reach out to my friends who have depression? | Captain Awkward

P.S. A lot of people with depression and other mental illnesses have trouble making decisions or choosing from a bunch of different options. “Wanna get dinner at that pizza place on Tuesday night?” is a LOT easier to answer than “So wanna hang out sometime? What do you want to do?”

(via startrekrenegades)

via coponder
August. 28. 2014. 03:37 pm 398 notes

slightlyoddbutcharming:

Sexuality: Dianna Agron pouring water on herself and trying not to swear

via mollykatheryn
August. 28. 2014. 03:37 pm 59,454 notes

seerofsarcasm:

persystella:

groot is probs assumed to be male but tbh i figure groot is a lil genderless being. who needs the gender binary when you’re a celestial tree creature. riddle me that.

"Are you a boy, or a girl?"
"I am Groot."

via goneawayawhile
August. 28. 2014. 03:37 pm 288 notes

brsis:

i just want to grab every novelist and movie maker by the ears and screech no, exactly the same characters, just make them women into their face until they see reason

i want the farm girl with a destiny who rescues a prince who turns out to be her brother and loses a hand to the arch villain, who nobody mentioned was her mother

i want the smart-ass conwoman and her handpicked team of awesome ladies - the sisters, the new kid, the big one with a temper - who pines over that one guy who broke her heart whenever she’s not fast-talking her way out of a situation she accidentally got herself into

i want the heiress who fronts as a dumb and ditzy flirt and beats the crap out of super-powered villains at night, haunted by the memory of her dead parents and the wide eyed girls who donned tights and went out with her and didn’t come back - and the grinning madwoman who meets her head on time and time again

i want the disabled daughter of an imperial house who buys a ship on a whim on the way to her grandmothers and bluffs her way into a major command position and then has to explain to her mum, the prime minister, and her as-good-as-a-sister the empress, why she accidentally committed treason

i want the arrogant and goofy young woman who was abducted from her home planet as a child being forced to team up with a heavily scarred woman seeking vengeance for her murdered husband and son, a tree princess, an illegal experiment who named herself after her favourite kind of weapon, and the devastatingly handsome adopted son of the most feared woman in the galaxy (and we get lingering camera pans over his thighs and butt every time he changes costume, which is like four times in the movie, and at one point the heroine saves his life and then straddles him in a corridor for no apparent reason)

like just make them women it’s not hard

via professorspork
August. 28. 2014. 03:35 pm 21,516 notes

pooki-chu:

appropriately-inappropriate:

america-wakiewakie:

No Charges for Cop Who Killed 13 Year Old Holding Toy Gun | The Free Thought Project 

Sonoma County DA announced on Monday that they will not be filing charges against Deputy Erick Gelhaus who shot a child through the heart, then 6 more times after the first fatal round, on October 22, in Santa Rosa, CA.

The young boy was walking down the street carrying a partially translucent plastic airsoft BB gun that resembled a rifle when he was spotted by Deputy Gelhaus and his partner Michael Schemmel.

Gelhaus ordered Lopez to drop his weapon, possibly confused because the orange tip on the toy was missing.

Lopez then began to turn towards the officer when the officer immediately opened fire, shooting to kill. Gelhaus told investigators that he could not remember if he identified himself as a police officer,

Seven bullets were fired at Andy Lopez within six seconds.  The officer’s report claims that he shot Lopez after he turned towards him with the toy gun, despite bullet wounds in Lopez’s side (which supporters claim may indicate he was struck while turning).

The altercation lasted a total of 19 seconds from the call for backup to “shots fired”.

After the 8th grader was on the ground, having been shot repeatedly, the officers then handcuffed the child’s dead, lifeless body.

New information released yesterday indicates Lopez may have smoked weed in the hours before the incident, the report states that he would likely have had “impaired judgement, slowed decision making and increased mental processing time, particularly when having to deal with performance of sudden, unanticipated tasks, including decisions that require a quick response.”

Jonathan Melrod, attorney and extremely dedicated activist, said the decision was based on “patent lies.”

“The police feel that we, the community, are their enemy, they police us as though they are still in Iraq or Afghanistan.” he stated.  He also said that using marijuana as an excuse is just a way to divert blame to the victim.

“Let’s assume there was THC. Does that justify executing Andy?” he demanded.

Gelhaus is ironically a firearms instructor, as well as a contributing writer to gun publications, despite having once accidentally shot himself in the leg in 1995 as he searched a teenager for weapons.

People gathered to protest the decision last night, and social media was full of cries of “You say justified- We say homicide!” and “Jailhouse for Gelhaus”.

Dozens of protests have been organized, mainly by other children who go by “Andy’s Youth”, and they have been passionate and intense.  From crossing police lines to bravely face off with riot policemarching and storming city council with crosses representing police brutality victims, to shaming killer cops they run into along their marches… these kids have been truly inspiring.

A demonstration to protest the decision was scheduled at the “hall of injustice” for Tuesday at 1pm.

It has yet to be announced if Gelhaus will begin patrolling the streets once again.  Lets hope he doesn’t.

Andy’s life mattered. 

"He smoked weed"

A) the officer had no way of knowing that at the time

B) public intoxication is a finable misdemeanour, and not a capital crime

C) he was a baby boy

D) what was the OFFICER on, that a gun expert can’t tell the difference between a BB gun and a rifle?

Bullshit. He saw a little brown boy with a toy and shot first. Fucker.

murder, police, gun violence, fuck the police

via marry-me-naya
August. 28. 2014. 12:56 pm 3,662 notes
As a teenager, I didn’t understand that saying you’re a feminist is just saying that you hope women and men will have equal rights and equal opportunities. What it seemed to me, the way it was phrased in culture, society, was that you hate men. And now, I think a lot of girls have had a feminist awakening because they understand what the word means. For so long it’s been made to seem like something where you’d picket against the opposite sex, whereas it’s not about that at all. Becoming friends with Lena – without her preaching to me, but just seeing why she believes what she believes, why she says what she says, why she stands for what she stands for – has made me realise that I’ve been taking a feminist stance without actually saying so.

TAYLOR SWIFT LADIES AND GENTLEMEN (via kittenstyles)

~it’s a journey~

(via hermionejg)

(Source: soulpank)

via professorspork
August. 28. 2014. 11:58 am 5,333 notes

(Source: brittanas)

via mollykatheryn
August. 28. 2014. 11:58 am 15,780 notes

Death threats drive Anita Sarkeesian from her home

(Source: clockworkgate)

via abgron
August. 28. 2014. 10:56 am 133,173 notes

laina:

laina:

laina:

this guy was watching the vmas with me and now he’s educating himself how precious is that

he keeps asking me all these questions about aspects of feminism and he’s like “so basically it’s about letting women do what they want without being judged for it” and I was like yea and he was like “oh okay that’s so simple why isn’t everyone a feminist” it’s precious

update: I banged him

via doomkitteh
lol